I have attended two funeral visitations in as many days. The first was for an elderly woman who had been tormented by dementia in recent months. The second was for a young man who had been killed in an automobile accident. As I spoke with the families, particularly of the young man, they commented on the questions they were asking God. 

I do not begrudge them the necessity of asking God questions. The Bible is full of references to God’s people questioning God and God’s intention. Even Jesus, himself asked God if the cup of the crucifixion could pass from him and why God had forsaken him although, I dare say Jesus probably knew the answers to those questions even before they were asked. We are allowed to ask God questions. And God will answer, although, often not in a way we can understand or accept.

The truth is that we most often want to know “why?” when we question God. Why did you let this happen? Why are you punishing me? And a related, what did this person do to deserve this? We live in a society that wants to know the reason behind every occurrence. We want to know where we may place blame. 

Often there is no satisfactory answer to the question “why?” It could be that the person made some poor choices, or not. It could be that circumstances just worked out in this tragic way, or not. It could be that it was just meant to be this way, or not. In any case, the answers may be hard to deal with and will they really help us in the journey toward healing? Probably not.

As a person of faith, I try to ask different questions, God, were you there with the person at the end? And God answers, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for you are with me” Ps. 23:4 and “Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence?…I come to the end–I am still with you.” Ps. 139:7, 18.

I ask, “God, are you with me now?” God answers “And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matt. 28:20.

We may never know why some things happen in our lives. But what we do know is that God loves us and stays with us through the dark times until we can again see the light.